good enough

ma says that pa suggests i rest in cebu for a while, or in her own words:

kaon tulog usa.

she always opens with that ("pa says...")

when she knows i'd say no. and i did.

i miss family.

but i am super sure these are the best years to be by myself for some time.

sir rudy agrees. sir eddieboy agrees.

my mom and dad, deep in their hearts, agree.

i think.

and if you're wondering why this exercise of justifying

my current state of affairs,

one probable reason is that this isn't the 21yo karl

that karl imagined 5 years ago while entering college.

there was no way then that i'd think of, say,

putting up a business or two at 21

or do marketing in kyrgyztan

or travel with just a backpack

or work for an underrated vacation island

all good possibilities

and no pressure so far. weird how

when you have no deadlines to miss, you end up missing deadlines.

there i said it. i miss deadlines.

my world is normal again.

the right people

commuting from greenhills to greenbelt
forces you to pass by some of the more convenient temples of consumerism
(that just sounds so forced but anyway)
such as sm makati

where you can, apparently, buy a book and take another one for free.
all for 99 pesos. such as this one




just days after watching hbo's recount, twice
(a movie that made me teary-eyed, don't laugh).
i'm still halfway to the second chapter andboth david and 'the president' seem so nice already.

which is what i love so much about biographies.
like when i read how bin laden loves to play volleyball
wearing the same clothes he wears to announce jihad.

as for the other book,
more like a diary of an old man. i picked it up
because of the cover and the blurb. we'll see.

thankful i have time for books.
and flight of the conchords.
and thesixtyone

Bangkok generous

can't believe it's been 30 days
and as per Thai law, i have to be back in Manila in a few hours.

i have yet to pack.
or to think about the many things that just happened.

but my mind somehow forces me to think about
what to do next.

which is not good.
so i write knowing that that helps.

it's just been fun and games for me here.
and i have not spent a single cent out of my own pocket. ever.
not even for those goodies you're expected to bring
(which isn't my thing, not a fan of tourist-y photos too)

what started out as a part-vacation part-quest for a career
turned out to be a full vacation with cute little cousins,
my grandma, her two sons and some hsbc yea friends.

met some folks via couchsurfing too.
learned how to swim again.
caught up on my reading.
got to wander around by myself too. which is good.

tito insists i come back. sure.
but here i go thinking about "what next" again.

guess it really is the question
and i can't believe i have no deadline.

TED on biomimicry

Janine Benyus: Biomimicry in action

i like how she uses "reminding" a lot. keepReminding!

death defiling

i asked myself recently:
why do i have a strange feeling we're all going to die?

and it really is a strange feeling 'cause
duh, karl
we all will die. but i insisted on asking anyway

and maybe one reason why
i'm feeling the strange feeling
is 'cause it's too easy to forget that we all will.

anyway,
(wait, notice how i easily dismissed that reminder)
someone dear recently died
and so the subject of death is so real yet again

and at first i thought:
funny how death shuts you up completely and yet
can most forcefully amplify your voice
too. and that after one moment,
what was once were a series of vigils
is now a world paying tribute and a nation mourning and yearning
for days gone by.

and then it occurred to me: that can't be right.
it wasn't your death that handed you a megaphone one last time at your deathbed.
it was your life.


tito ninoy is waiting.