no swerving

KEEP OUT FROM SPIRITUAL ROAD ACCIDENTS
-actual sign on local bus.

spell spiritual.
and i finally understood the meaning of

eyecandy.
and now that i do,
i pray i don't fall prey to it again.

lisnin to Hey There Delilah - Plain White T's

I'd walk to you if I had no other way
Our friends would all make fun of us
And we'll just laugh along because we know
That none of them have felt this way
Delilah I can promise you
That by the time that we get through
The world will never ever be the same
And you're to blame

Oh it's what you do to me

his voice reminds me of spring awakening.
his lyrics reminds me of the point.

which may include some really good movies to watch out for:

spiderman 3
transformers
shrek the third
pirates of the carribean: at world's end
the simpsons movie
hairspray
harry potter and the order of the phoenix
the hiphop project

sessions of -sions and -tions

just passed by musical theater workshops here at sacred heart cebu where rads is teaching kids the craft with michael williams. heard of it through hendri who i bumped on while doing the groceries.

i suddenly miss these workshops and the whole meeting-new-people-who-loves-the-craft-as-well-even-if-they-were-originally-
forced-into-the-stage-when-they-were-younger

i want i want i want.
and this library laura uploaded for blueREP is very promising.
makes me want to do piano lessons again.

i want i want i want.
among a gazillion other things i want right now.

and surprisingly are things i actually could grab hold of.
toodles toodles and sigh

i need to prepare for a different kind of workshop.
i always thought "express over impress"
now that i think about it, maybe it's a lot better if one ain't over the other.
lisnin to I'm Yours
sortof readin The Ultimate Guide to starting your own business. this will set eyerolling as a trend
feelin kinda hungry. must eat. again.

and manila's also to miss

Larsian and aching shoulders

i find myself laughing a lot lot more these past few months.
friends from enta and sandaang panaginip would easily notice that.
sometimes, people wouldn't even believe i'm really laughing.

from bluerep to random strangers in the street to sanggu room to solitary walks in shang to little cousins saying the darndest things, i love to laugh. but my shoulders ached of laughing last night.

enough proof that i did miss mandy py noel and everyone else's company.
from the silliest to the most sensual, we were laughing like crazy. like move-your-head-up-and-down crazy.

enough proof that i did miss cebu and larsian, the barbecue capital of the world! and they cleaned up the place and their pusu, or hanging rice, is at a whopping 2pesos.

the day actually started with me laughing already. conversations with mama, papa and my brother. they're always as light. add to that ferly threading my upper lip, then you have the entire salon wondering why i'm laughing out loud.

'til the next time. especially when lani gets here in a wee bit.

lisnin to the local monster radio
sortof readin the samurai on national geographic
feelin kinda at peace.

stare case

from the sir Jethro Tenorio

tulala

malikot ang isip
hindi mapakali
pumipintig ang laman
hindi maikimi

humihiyaw ang loob
ngunit walang namumutawi
umiiyak ang pusong
ayaw nang magkubli

subalit sa huli,
ang tangi mong makikita
ay katawang
nakapirmi

not as torn lately thanks to a really lazy summer break.
of hearts unsettling

moderate comments

here's what i get for going out most of the time:
a missed flight

and a hell lot more experiences.

was supposed to share this excerpt from Emily Abrera's speech to the graduates weeks ago:
...on the occasions when I've joined international gatherings of the company, I've noticed a strange phenomenon about us Filipinos --- we rarely volunteer a point of view or a commentary unless specifically asked, yet when we do speak up, everyone is surprised at how articulate and knowledgeable we are!

When members of a group are asked who is willing to lead, we Filipinos are quiet as mice. (Later, we have a lot to say under our breath about the noisy idiot who raised his hand.)

I've often wondered about that. Is it shyness? Uncertainty? Does speaking out defy some cultural code we are sworn to obey? Are we just afraid of competing and failing?

These times favor us. In the New Order, there will be greater strides made by collaborating, instead of competing, and I think we are naturally good at that. The more information gets shared, the greater the impetus will be to innovate in any organization.

Cultivate the ability to thrive in teamwork.
Be passionate about the things you believe in.

it'll be a nice ride.

lisnin to chatter
sortof readin local newspapers
feelin kinda interesting

coming home

to people who are waiting for my reply to some very important business
mail, i'm afraid i can't seem to access gmail nor yahoo nor blogger
here in panglao. and somehow i sorta like it.

life in a beach club is slow, and the smell of sunblock does help.
and for all our talk here on globalization, it is after all the theme of this leadership exercise,
it is so much fun to see it at play

what with all the other representatives of other various cultures here with us.

and i've said so many times already how amazing one can put so many stuff in one day
but i say it again 'cause sunday is a testament to that.

like seriously.
i originally thought of bladiblading about it but i change my mind.

to the many then-strangers i've met that day, we will keep in touch.
your experience has enriched mine.

and to think it was just the start.
that it ends makes it all the more interesting.
and that i'm back

here and in cebu soon and then ateneo

adds so many fascinating layers to the word home.

to Detach

nothing like caffeine to sober you up.
the cab driver said he was real sleepy, that sobered me up too.

somebody used the word detach during sanggunuman earlier and it just kept on repeating itself in my head ever since. and aaron is probably joking about losing hope on love 'cause i am not so sure if that's altogether possible. but it merits a think-about.

i think to detach is a whole lot easier to say than to let go. to detach isn't nuanced with moments of holding on, moments of hoping against hope, moments of wishful thinking. and it makes it all the more safe for my ego.

'cause beneath my childlike, often-annoyingly-so exterior is a selfish ego who simply wants his desires fulfilled. nothing wrong with that right [provided of course it doesn't end in egoism but that's a different matter altogether]. it starts to become less simple when one wonders whether this or that desire deserves to be fulfilled, and up to what lengths does one have to go to figure that out.

'cause saying no early in the game simply increases the number of what-ifs in your life. but not saying no, means saying yes, which means entering a maze of good times and bad times. not bad at all. but there are mazes that seem endless and experience dictates that there are mazes that actually are endless. worse, they all seem to look like similar mazes to me.

not always of course. i mean, come on. but what's most interesting isn't what lies at the end of the maze and here you talk about journey over destination bladibla. now i think that's just all too sugarcoated sometimes. 'cause it can get much too tiring. nakakapagod would sum it up better.

and so i detach [oftentimes unsuccessfully] hoping that carrying so many what-ifs is more convenient, more safe, less tiring. and suddenly, even detach is nuanced.

lisnin to I Am Not My Hair - India Arie
sortof readin notes of my speech to a student congress in rizal, which was okay, sadly.
feelin kinda hot.

Catch Stages of Love at Serendra

Where: KAPE ISLA in SERENDRA (Fort Bonifacio)
When: April 22, 2007 (Sunday)
Time: 6pm
Tickets are at P200 but there are limited seats only so GET YOUR TICKETS NOW!

For ticket reservations call 0919-3608974

there is

ah, the power of google
and the inquisitive mind.

laura tells me she's downloaded the entire spring awakening the musical album off the internet but while i wait for a copy, i finally figured out the title of this particular song that struck me the most.
plus a video


BOTH
Just too unreal all this

WENDLA
Watching his world slip through my fist

MELCHIOR
Playing with her in your fantasies

BOTH
Haven't you heard the word--
How I want you?

and the score, duncan sheik sure is somebody.
to deserve some thing is, in fact, also dependent on my particular actions. but we still all love to ask why we deserve this and that. even if the answers don't come wrapped in silk or don't come wrapped at all or are better off not coming.

lisnin to The Word of Your Body
sortof readin its lyrics
feelin its pain and beauty.

O, I’m gonna be wounded
O, I’m gonna be your wound
O, I’m gonna bruise you
O, you’re gonna be my bruise
-the lyrics of Steven Sater

to be loved

they say the object of affection, of love is not important but it sure feels important when one is that object. it is totally reassuring and amazingly helpful to know that one is part of that beautiful reason others are alive. thank you ma and pa. you may not read this here but i have a feeling you eventually will.

you do not need to though.

escaler hall was loved yesterday too.
i remember joshua yesterday telling jedd that that was what karl said goodbye to m.e. for. and to a huge extent he is right. i missed making adjustments in the middle of the game,
i missed spontaneously reacting to a logistical miscalculation in the middle of the game,
i missed screaming at the top of my lungs without expecting i would,
i missed asking whether a person i shouted at was ok or mad at me,
i missed following up a beautiful yet totally unplanned option B C and D,
i missed seeing a crowd, a community who knew how and when and why and what to applaud themselves for

yes i missed seeing a bunch of unfamiliar people applaud together as one.
yesterday underscored why i missed it.
it just was so beautiful. in the mushiest, sappiest yet with every sense of the word.

i here repeat what i said to the bea gomez on ym:
minsan mahirap matukoy kung bakit natin ginagawa ang mga ginagawa natin pero yung nangyari kanina ay patunay na may dahilan

at isa siyang napakagandang dahilan.
the next few days will test whether we follow through

lisnin to Justin Timberlake Live at a Victoria's Secret Fashion Show
sortof readin Buklod Atenista
feelin kinda bold.

whoa whoa we

i agree with pepi, i didn't expect it to be so much fun.
primarily because i've had loads of fun days prior, moments when i was certain it can't get any more fun.

but there it was, sanggu formsem 08 and me laughing over tantan passing this cup to mike. among many other hilarious moments, from m&m to sermons on love.

and i say this with much conviction 'cause the entire time, i had other aspects of my student life to think about. nothing too troublesome but just enough to make me feel never as worried as before regarding my scholarship.

and i was fortunate 'cause a song best caught what i felt for it.
suddenly it felt like i don't deserve any of this fun stuff.
but you feel it while you seize the fun.
and it gets all too whoa-y.
and it makes company, makes home, makes everyone around you all the more special.

one never has one home, one finds many and the homes we stay in help us stay happy.
despite the seemingly unbearable aww-fulness of it all.

lisnin to Losing My Way - Justin Timberlake
sortof readin SCAP invite to speak in their student congress
feelin kinda heavily burdened yet totally blessed

buttered up

...and suprisingly good to go.

many reasons to be teary-eyed right now which explains why i'm teary-eyed right now.

got back from baguio at close to midnight earlier, will be going back again later tonight. i've met more than 40 individuals representing many ateneo student organizations and boy are they all interesting. i always thought formation seminars were overrated. they aren't. to witness shifts in mindsets and outlook, indifference to making a stand, is damn hair-raising. wonder what sanggu formsem will bring me.

just finished lunch at butter diner. and i seriously think you should try it out. it's right across gateway in cubao. food is good. music is good. old school is good. so are the toasters.

on the ride home, meggie from acomm recommended a few youtube clips and i share them with you. both of them are reasons too why i'm teary-eyed. mushy as it may seem. see for yourself

never quite expected it.

and this song from jason mraz.

Well open up your mind and see like me
Open up your plans and damn you're free
Look into your heart and you'll find love love love
Listen to the music of the moment maybe sing with me
A lá peaceful melody
It's your God-forsaken right to be loved love loved love loved
-I'm Yours, Jason Mraz

tear.
i'll find out my grades for my poorest academic performance in a few minutes and i hope i get teary-eyed for the better reasons. fingers crossed.

looking forward to sanggu with only two-thirds present.
sigh. not one of the better reasons.

lisnin to I'm Yours - Jason Mraz, for the nth time
sorta readin newspapers
feelin kinda anxious and giddy and cold.

in the interest of time

ever caught yourself eating your own words
literally and figuratively and hurriedly?

and you find yourself
not doing anything about it.
almost always

we eat on.
even if everyone's working on being prayerful.

and it pays to pause at times.
and remember that being lazy does not slow down time,
only our metabolism.

it won't be as slow again starting tomorrow
but we try to sneak in slow parts in between.

that way the fast parts stay fast.

lisnin to Lifehouse
sortof readin The Fountainhead
feelin kinda pee-y

mag Bantay Bilang

WHAT: Bantay Bilang

Bantay Bilang is the NAMFREL QC CHAPTER Operation Quick Count.

Ateneo Loyola Schools has volunteered to head the Operation Quick Count for the Quezon City Chapter of NAMFREL this May elections.

WHAT WE NEED:

We need 456 volunteers per day starting May 14 so that we can finish the count in 6 days (That's 2736 people). Even non-Ateneans can volunteer.

Volunteers will attend a General Assembly on April 16, 6 PM, at the Escaler Hall of the Ateneo Loyola Schools Campus. Volunteers will sign-up for the training session and shifts they are available for.

HOW TO VOLUNTEER:

Email bantaybilang@yahoo.com your name, organization, cell phone number and other contact details, or

Sign-up at the Sanggunian room, or

Sign-up on the Sanggunian promo board along the EDSA walkway

Make a difference this summer, mag Bantay Bilang
For any questions, you can email us at bantaybilang@yahoo.com or contact Karl at 09157882132.

Let's Join Us

FROM RM. 200 will be a series of personal reflections on some of my Sanggunian experiences this school year. Nothing fancy, just straight blablas from me.

I do not like to preempt what the incoming set of student council officers would come up as a whole but having two days with some of them was genuinely interesting, in a good sense. Considering that I failed to sleep for the first day and that I failed to take a bath for the second, to speak of anything good at all of those two days is proof of the Office of Student Activities' commitment to good stuff.

Good because we now get to deliberately and more explicitly redefine our approaches and those desired states that we long for more and more people to see. Good because we realize that all those platform talk allows us to bring more thought-of ideas into the table. Good because early in the game we recognize, understand, and appreciate the us-ness of this all.

It suddenly isn't too overwhelming. Just right. Early in the game we realize the value of inviting more and more people to join us, may we constantly remind ourselves the value of continuously saying join us, showing join us, doing join us, and forever letting join us be.

So let's join us.

sensitive joysticks

apparently, it's this hard to play old school SNES samurai showdown or super mario bros. with a joy stick that's uber sensitive. but it was a good time playing with my 4-year old cousin.

it's his brother's baptism next sunday.
it was blueREP's year-end party last night.

between that and today, i somehow was able to sneak in dancing at ice in greenbelt and eating with enta at marikina

it is a sanggu party at aaron's tonight
tomorrow is a first-ever joint planning seminar of sanggu and coa

between both is final paper submission which signals the official start of my summer vacation,

a time when sensitive joysticks are revisited with the attention they deserve.

lisnin to John Legend music
sortof readin this online seminar which is awarding me a free panglao trip.
feelin kinda lazy