Saturday, June 28

iConfess

too many older people have lamented about how my peers and i are the instant-loving bunch.

no, i don't mean that we love in an instant.
i mean that we love the instant.

from instant messengers to instant noodles to instant buko juice (go shanon!), even instant divorce (via vending machines at that). gone are the days when we would have to wait for the next album, the next flight to timbuktu, the next national news, the next trend. they're there right before you finish batting an eyelash.

that is if you notice you're batting an eyelash. things are happening left and right, far left and far right that you hardly notice anything anymore. and so this is how i explain why i demand that things come in quick too. i say i am growing up in a fast world so i whine, complain, fire up, DISENGAGE when things are too slow, too bland, too boring.

but poor whiny karl, his whining can only do so much. (his disengaging can hardly do anything, but that's a whole different stream of consciousness altogether)

there just are things that are best done the good old-fashioned slow way. like reading this loooong reading, understanding that loooong book, dialling up that loooong list of possible partners, living a life.

even a not-loooong one.


hmmwait, now i do think i mean that we love in an instant.
trouble is, the time it takes for us to fall in love also is about the same amount of time it takes for us to fall out. te-gug-tesh with matching drumsticks

Thursday, June 26

CHANGE begins now

As part of our run-up to the 2010 National Elections and considering it's utmost importance in our country's history, the Ateneo de Manila University-School of Government and Team RP has launched a weekly blog at Inquirer.net discussing different issues which concern the upcoming elections. If you would like to participate in writing blogs or have topics/ideas that you would like us to write about, please email Kai Pastores at kai.pastores@yahoo.com or contact her at (02) 426-5657. I hope that you can help us by sharing this email to your friends and taking time to read our blog by clicking on the link:
Or you can also read the same article below:
By Niel Lim
Team RP
Inquirer.net

MANY people dismiss the strength of a youth vote. In the last three elections (2001, 2004 and 2007), the youth have constituted a bulk of the votes, enough to make a candidate win, but these votes were dispersed. Pundits say that because the youth's voting patterns can't be classified as much as other demographics, a so-called youth vote does not exist.

But the youth definitely has an agenda to pursue. In 2005, the National Youth Commission (NYC) reported that across regions, education, employment and health ranked as the top three survival and developmental issues of which the youth were most concerned. Substance abuse, juvenile delinquency and child abuse were also cited as the top protection issues and governance (national, local and in the Sangguniang Kabataan), youth involvement and access to information as the top participation issues. So how can a demographic with a concrete agenda and shared aspiration not constitute a powerful voting bloc?

In the last 2004 presidential elections, around 13 million voters were within the 18- to 24-year-old bracket and almost five million of them were first-time voters. Unfortunately, roughly two million more failed to register. In the same year, the President won with only one million votes more than her closest opponent. Had the two million youth voters registered and voted, it could have tipped the scale. In fact, the youth comprised a third of the overall voting population in 2004 and had they rallied behind a single candidate, who embodied their aspirations, that candidate could have won with at least 15 million votes.

Now, in 22 months, over 50 percent of the voting population would be young Filipinos aged 18 to 35, enough Filipinos to change the course of our future; enough Filipinos to advance the cause for the common good; enough Filipinos to invest in our country's future; enough Filipinos to say "enough."

Come 2010, we will not just be the future of the nation — we would be the nation. We would be empowered to effect the change we have been wishing for and with our collective aspirations we could become the catalyst our country needs.

Realizing this potential, we at Team RP are launching the IamChange2010 campaign, a voter registration and education drive that fuses the hippest in today's youth culture with a compelling social message. Beginning August 2008, the Commission on Elections will open the voter registration season, and we want to make sure we, the youth will make a difference. And we need your support. Every week, the IamChange2010 blog will feature an entry that reflects our collective aspirations, first-time voter experiences and practical tips on voter registration. So if you have something worthwhile to share, please send it to team.rp.official@gmail.com.

There is a youth vote. But it will need you. Change will happen now, if change will begin with everyone. Get involved. Share your views. Listen. Participate. Because having a better country is not just a dream. It's our duty.

IamChange2010 is a joint project of the Ateneo de Manila School of Government and Team RP. It aims to get the young Filipinos to register and vote in the coming 2010 Presidential elections and educate them on various issues concerning elections. For inquiries, you may also contact Kai at (02) 426-5657.

Sunday, June 22

"it sucks to be me"

says the shirt i'm wearing.
the same shirt i've been wearing during the eight times i've been an usher for avenue q's final run.

and boy does that show have a lot to say about many things.
an aww-ful show that surprisingly attracts an aww-ful crowd too.

i don't think i can count the number of times i've been told "aww, you don't suck..."
and it's the good kind of aww,
the sincere kind.

the one that makes you want to give the awwer a better seat.
the one that makes you forget bad audience members who whine a lot about their seat or who use their mobile phones too much or who give a running commentary of the show.

i failed to see the previous runs so i can't give comparisons.
all i can say is that i really enjoyed, even during the eighth and last time a few minutes ago.


and what i noticed was that the best part about getting to see a show over and over is that you can turn your attention to the audience every now and then and wait for their reaction (instead of yours or the actors') and then you get a different tingle inside you.

the good kind. not the i-should-have-peed kind.
and then you get to say your own little awws


and suddenly life isn't so bad.
save for typhoon frank. boo. shoo.


Saturday, June 21

TED on the bottom billion




Paul Collier: 4 ways to improve the lives of the "bottom billion"


"...the alliance of compassion and enlightened self-interest. we need compassion to get started, enlightened self-interest to get serious."

"unless we have an informed society, what we get from politicians is gestures. things that look good but don't work."


the Philippines may not be in the bottom billion just yet but we share so many similarities. you may already know what he's saying but listen to how we seem to be facing the same problems and still are not going forward together.

taboo overload

it always gets to a point where it's too hard to say you've had enough.

you think you have no more time to step back and strategize so you go on and on with tactics that will lead you to nowhere.

1 played taboo for marketing communications class.
2 found out in wikipedia that obama loved to play taboo with his campaign staff.
3 now wondering if actually articulating (obama: they’re going to try to make you afraid. they’re going to try to make you afraid of me. ‘he’s young and inexperienced and he’s got a funny name. and did i mention he’s black?’") what his opponents love to do would help.


there were links between 1 and 2 and 3, i think.
but i need to step back just a bit for a bit.

Tuesday, June 17

I am Change 2010 HOORAY!

don't let the seemingly self-important name fool you. tihee



Good day! I am Karl and I am from I am Change 2010!
Did you know that EIGHT MILLION young Filipinos did not vote during the last Presidential elections? Now imagine if they did!

You know too well how prices are all up right now.
The price of gasoline is almost SIXTY PESOS.
I'm sure you felt its impact too, one way or another.

Now, we're not saying that if the EIGHT MILLION did vote that gasoline may be a lot cheaper right now but imagine if the EIGHT MILLION did. Surely there would be a lot more time thinking about solutions for the future than arguing about who really won in the past. And maybe, if we did elect a president WE ALL COULD RALLY BEHIND then it would be a lot easier to convince every Filipino to do his share of the solution.

Not all the whining, kudeta-ing, kidnapping we're getting right now.

In 22 months, there will be enough young Filipinos eligible to vote to decide the next person to lead the country. IamChange2010 is about convincing all those young Filipinos (including you) to go out register and vote and be ACTUALLY involved. SERIOUSLY.

IamChange2010 will be the biggest voter registration and education drive EVER.
It is about convincing you to get involved.

Did you know that you can actually start registering this August? Exactly!
So in August 2008, IamChange2010 will be launched in Tomas Morato, Quezon City followed by more concerts almost every month all over the Philippines! In at least 9 areas from Baguio to Cebu to Davao! IamChange2010 will launch a Privilege Card too, discounts and freebies for every young Filipino we convince to register and vote. There will be coffee sessions, sports tournaments, arts competitions, online initiatives, radio spots, outdoor ads, a presidential debate and all capped by an Election Night Wrap-up in May 2010.

Excited? Yey 'cause we need your help.
We need people to run diff committees from Logistics to Marketing to Programs, etc etc.
You may tell me about it or see you at our GA on Wednesday next week June 25, 2008 at the Center for Community Services Conference Room near ISO.

By 2010, there will be more than just EIGHT MILLION. It'll take more than just us to convince sooo many people. So please please see you in the GA! You may email kai.pastores@yahoo.com as well for more info. Thank you!

Monday, June 16

IDeas

it feels good to have an ID card again.

really really good.

someone shared this on Team RP and it's a good read. (by the way, Team RP is looking for volunteers for I amChange2010, the biggest voting drive yet! so do tell me if you're interested).

Rizal, Ninoy and revolution
HINDSIGHT By F Sionil Jose
Sunday, June 15, 2008

When we mark this month the 147th birthday of Jose Rizal, we are assured of the man’s status as our national hero. Since Ninoy Aquino was killed and his death also brought about the fall of an oppressive regime, there are those among us who consider him a national hero, too, on a pedestal no different from that of Rizal’s.

Maybe it is time that we assess the comparison; after all, both were killed at the height of their manhood and intellectual powers.

I first knew Rizal when I was 10 years old and was given by my Grade Five teacher, Soledad Oriel, his novels, Noli Me Tangere and El Felibusterismo, in their first English translation by Derbyshire.

Much earlier, I heard his name uttered by the elders in our barrio, particularly by my grandfather who was in the revolution of 1896. The preparation of the Rizal Day float was led by my grandfather. It consisted of the newest bullcart in the barrio, the spokes of the wheels wreathed with the tricolor in papel de Japon, the horns of the carabao wrapped with garlands... In the center of the cart sat our prettiest girl in baro at saya; behind her, our handsomest young man in rayadillo trousers, barong and red scarf, the brim of his straw hat raised in the manner of the revolutionaries of that period; in his right hand, an unsheathed bolo. The parade ended before the monument of Rizal in the plaza and, towards late afternoon, we listened to speeches extolling Rizal and condemning Spanish colonialism.

I first met Ninoy in 1950 or thereabouts. I was then on the staff of the Sunday magazine of the Manila Times. Being too poor to afford a typewriter, I used to stay in the office to type my stories and one evening, he came to me. He was told by Dave Boguslav, the editor of the Times, that the best writers in the paper were in the magazine, and may I please read his copy?

He was in short pants, he introduced himself as a cub from the University of the Philippines . One thing about Ninoy, he knew how to please people. His copy was quite neat and he really needed little editing. I just reminded him that writing news stories required directness, simplicity, short sentences. He was a fast learner, and after four visits, he stopped bothering me with his copy.

My acquaintance with him continued through the years, and when we opened Solidaridad Bookshop in 1965 and the journal Solidarity in the same year, he was a frequent visitor, and on several occasions, he participated in the seminars sponsored by the journal.

Even at an early stage, it was obvious that Ninoy was very bright, that he had a keen, inquiring mind, that he read a lot and absorbed a lot. I knew he read all those books for he discussed some of them in great detail.

When Marcos released Ninoy from prison for a few days of “furlough,” Nestor Mata, Nick Joaquin, Greg Brillantes and I paid him a visit at his house in Times Street in Quezon City . Upon getting there we were photographed, fingerprinted by his military escorts who were all over the place. We had very little chance to talk to Ninoy in private. Going back to the bookshop, I told the writers who wanted to visit Ninoy of the process by which one would be able to see him. No one wanted to go with me when I decided to pay him a second visit.

Ninoy’s family is rich, but not half as affluent as the Cojuangcos to whom he was related by marriage. He was deeply aware of the roots of discontent — the agrarian problem. After all, it was in Central Luzon , his bailiwick, where the Huk uprising started and its leader, Luis Taruc, was his personal friend; he helped the Taruc family in all the years that Ka Luis was in jail. He had a plan for agrarian reform which, in hindsight, included his wife’s Hacienda Luisita. In the interest of improved production, the big estates should not be divided; they should be made into corporate farms, the workers given shares which they can redeem and profit from.

Ninoy was bothered by his father’s collaboration with the Japanese in World War II and he made an effort to work with the Americans, including the CIA, to gain favor with them. Unfortunately, when he was in exile in the United States , the Reagan White House ignored him and all the opponents of Marcos who were there; Reagan, after all, was the best ally of Marcos until the latter became a liability rather than an asset.

Ninoy believed in revolution; he expounded on it before a small group he knew very well but we didn’t know to what extent he had worked to advance it. I saw glimpses of it only after he died. During all those years that he was in prison, he continued reading — but his reading now included books on philosophy and religion. And when he was released on furlough, on my second visit to the Aquino house in Times Street in Quezon City , he took me to one of the rooms where we could be alone. The house was crawling with soldiers in civilian clothes, among them the late Willie Jurado who, Ninoy said, was Marcos’ personal agent.

He assured that the room was not bugged and he said that he still believed in revolution but that we couldn’t afford a million Filipinos killed as was the case with Vietnam .

There must be a way, he said, by which violence could be minimized. A million Filipinos — that is too much. Perhaps just a few hundred will do.

I told him that once violence was unleashed there was no way it could be controlled — I was repeating the old argument that Pepe Diokno used.

Besides, I had already told him earlier. There is the danger that the United States will be involved.

“I will take care of that,” he said.

I also told him that as long as Marcos was in power, that revolution could not proceed, although Marcos himself was the best recruiter for the revolutionary army.

So was Rizal intensely aware of the agrarian discontent; his own family was forced out of their estate in the Dominican-owned hacienda in Calamba, Laguna. Rizal’s Cabessang Tales, who turned against his oppressive friar landlord in the novel El Felibusterismo, affirms the revolution.

Ninoy wanted to go home after his heart surgery in the United States . I told him at that last meeting in Times Street that Marcos would get him because he was the only contender for power, with a political machine and popularity to contest Marcos in an election. He was so sure that he had friends in the Armed Forces who would help him. “Johnny Enrile,” he said with great confidence, “is a friend. He will protect me.”

He knew that Marcos was gravely ill; that if he died, there would be a vacuum. He must go home to fill that vacuum, to achieve his destiny.

Rizal did not have to come home. He could have stayed on in Europe ; maybe he would have lived poorly there like M.H. del Pilar, but he would have survived. After all, he was a medical doctor. And he could have written more. But he returned home for, as he told the exiles in Europe , the fight for reforms was not in Spain but in Filipinas.

He knew he would face grave dangers if he returned, even sure death. He seemed prepared for that eventuality; he seemed to have accepted that fate. But he valued life, and in an effort to ingratiate himself with the rulers, he even suggested that he go to Cuba , on the side of the Spanish colonialists — not on the side of the Cuban revolutionaries, like Jose Marti. But that request was not granted.

Rizal was opposed to Bonifacio’s revolution. To seek his support, Pio Valenzuela visited him in Dapitan where the Spaniards had exiled him. Rizal argued against that revolution, saying that Filipinos were not ready for it, that the cost — and the bloodshed — would be tremendous. Such a position is made clear in his writing, particularly in the second novel, El Filibusterismo, where Ibarra turned Simoun returns to the country a full-fledged revolutionary. But the very reasons Rizal presents against revolution are nullified by the conditions depicted in both novels; they argue forcefully instead against the authorial denial.

And when the Spaniards executed him, his martyrdom, like Ninoy’s murder, galvanized the people to act compulsively against the colonial power. His death confirmed Bonifacio’s dream — that upheaval was not just inevitable, it was also supremely righteous.

For all that Rizal intellectually expressed, his doubts about the use of force, his very life, and most of all his death, were in abject contrast to such views. This is one of those poignant ironies which, all the more, contributed to his greatness.

Some questions about the deaths of both Rizal and Aquino still fester in the mind. For instance, did Rizal really write the retraction before his execution as claimed by the Jesuits? Ambeth Ocampo, the historian, says there is such a document and he vouches for its authenticity. On the other hand, Austin Coates, who wrote the definitive biography of Rizal, said it never happened — Rizal would never have disavowed what he had done or written. He was not that kind of a man.

There is no ambiguity, however, about who ordered his execution — the colonial government.

Sure, Ninoy believed in revolution. But though several soldiers convicted of his murder are languishing in jail, the cover-up killings that followed his assassination have never been resolved. And though many have formed conclusions about who the mastermind is, that mastermind’s identity is unknown to this very day. And one question which puzzles so many is why, when Cory was president and had all the power to uncover that assassin’s identity, did she not do it?

In espousing a revolution as a solution to our ancient inequities, was Ninoy playing the usual elitist game of betting on both sides? It is a well-known ploy of the oligarchs to support both sides in a political contest and it is well known to those in power and in government that many of the oligarchs are supporting leftist elements to assure their survival just in case the left will triumph.

Shortly after EDSA 1, the former Army lieutenant Victor Corpus, who joined the NPA, visited me. I asked him if it was true that Ninoy really supported the New People’s Army; yes, he said.

It was Ninoy, after all, who introduced Commander Dante Buscayno to Jose Maria Sison, the founder of the Chinese wing of the Communist Party, and Hacienda Luisita is known to have been the sanctuary for Commander Dante.

What is a national hero? It is understood that the whole nation reveres him because it is the nation that he unselfishly served, to which he gave his life. Even today, many believe that Bonifacio should occupy a higher pedestal than Rizal, that Rizal was deified by the Americans who agreed with his non-violent approach to independence. There should be no more debate about Rizal’s status — even before the Americans came in 1898, the Malolos Republic already gave him that status as a national hero. He was a martyr, publicly executed for what he had done to advance the cause of this nation’s freedom. He was a poet, a novelist, a medical doctor, an anthropologist, a linguist. At age 35, he had achieved so much; no country in Asia had ever produced one like him.

Ninoy was not martyred — he was murdered.

What had Ninoy achieved in his life time? He was a politician, a stirring speaker with a vast following and a political machine. He was a loyal friend — there are many of us who will confirm this. But he had actually very little to show as achievements other than political prowess.

Sure, there are those of us who believed in him, who knew he would have been a better president than Marcos because he had social vision and would surely pursue that vision and destroy the oligarchy to which he himself belonged.

Had he succeeded Marcos, Ninoy would have been harsher. He definitely had a sense of history but all these are speculations for he never really achieved the power that he so avidly sought, and for which he gave his life.

Fame and popularity are important structures in a hero’s pedestal, but the elements for greatness transcend such qualities for they spring from the total essence of the hero, from his very soul.

Ninoy was famous just as he was popular, but he did not have that intrinsic greatness which Rizal possessed.

In my humble opinion, Ninoy was heroic but not a national hero.

And so, I will ask yet again, what kind of revolutionary movements do we have, if, after 40 years, such movements have not destroyed the oligarchs, the crooked politicians that have run this country to the ground?

And our leaders, particularly our very rich Filipinos, what kind of people are they if they are not humbled by their knowledge of what we have become, the hewers of wood and drawers of water for the world? Are they not shamed at all by their knowledge of our women working abroad as housemaids and prostitutes?

And our religious leaders: How could they continue with their preaching and how can they live with themselves knowing that they have failed?

Or our expensive, elite schools: Where are the Rizals and Ninoys that they should be nurturing?

Are we a gutless, shameless race?

Monday, June 9

defining crazy

don't wonder why people go crazy, wonder why they don't.
says dr. meredith grey.


and what a way to end summer.
there was this 18yo farmer's son from camarines sur too.
jay bogoyan i think was his name.

i think we all should watch out for him. on pinoy dream academy.
his line about finally singing to people, not carabaos and grass was just classic.
he is funny without even trying and his voice. wait 'til you hear his voice.

not the best-best but you'll get my point when you hear it.

ANYWAY
will finally learn my lesson and not put too much on myself by setting this and that goal for this sem. i've had too many omg-this-is-going-to-be-the-sem-of-all-sems statements.
i'll just chill for now.

and finish return of the king before class sets in.
otherwise, there will be more sems than i initially bargained for.



i forgot, there are more already.
off to going crazy.

Sunday, June 8

The Fringe Benefits of Failure, and the Importance of Imagination

i'm not a huge Potter fan but i have read all 7 books (yes, abbi i need to return the last one already) and i must say, the book's author's address to Harvard graduates (see here or below) is a wonderful read. thanks for sharing this steph.

JK Rowling may just be paraphrasing what we think we all already know but i think it was very creative of her to define imagination in a more interesting, more meaningful sense. Sir Lawrence Cruz was right when he said that definition and meaning are two different words.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++


President Faust, members of the Harvard Corporation and the Board of Overseers, members of the faculty, proud parents, and, above all, graduates.

The first thing I would like to say is ‘thank you.’ Not only has Harvard given me an extraordinary honour, but the weeks of fear and nausea I’ve experienced at the thought of giving this commencement address have made me lose weight. A win-win situation! Now all I have to do is take deep breaths, squint at the red banners and fool myself into believing I am at the world’s best-educated Harry Potter convention.

Delivering a commencement address is a great responsibility; or so I thought until I cast my mind back to my own graduation. The commencement speaker that day was the distinguished British philosopher Baroness Mary Warnock. Reflecting on her speech has helped me enormously in writing this one, because it turns out that I can’t remember a single word she said. This liberating discovery enables me to proceed without any fear that I might inadvertently influence you to abandon promising careers in business, law or politics for the giddy delights of becoming a gay wizard.

You see? If all you remember in years to come is the ‘gay wizard’ joke, I’ve still come out ahead of Baroness Mary Warnock. Achievable goals: the first step towards personal improvement.

Actually, I have wracked my mind and heart for what I ought to say to you today. I have asked myself what I wish I had known at my own graduation, and what important lessons I have learned in the 21 years that has expired between that day and this.

I have come up with two answers. On this wonderful day when we are gathered together to celebrate your academic success, I have decided to talk to you about the benefits of failure. And as you stand on the threshold of what is sometimes called ‘real life’, I want to extol the crucial importance of imagination.

These might seem quixotic or paradoxical choices, but please bear with me.

Looking back at the 21-year-old that I was at graduation, is a slightly uncomfortable experience for the 42-year-old that she has become. Half my lifetime ago, I was striking an uneasy balance between the ambition I had for myself, and what those closest to me expected of me.

I was convinced that the only thing I wanted to do, ever, was to write novels. However, my parents, both of whom came from impoverished backgrounds and neither of whom had been to college, took the view that my overactive imagination was an amusing personal quirk that could never pay a mortgage, or secure a pension.

They had hoped that I would take a vocational degree; I wanted to study English Literature. A compromise was reached that in retrospect satisfied nobody, and I went up to study Modern Languages. Hardly had my parents’ car rounded the corner at the end of the road than I ditched German and scuttled off down the Classics corridor.

I cannot remember telling my parents that I was studying Classics; they might well have found out for the first time on graduation day. Of all subjects on this planet, I think they would have been hard put to name one less useful than Greek mythology when it came to securing the keys to an executive bathroom.

I would like to make it clear, in parenthesis, that I do not blame my parents for their point of view. There is an expiry date on blaming your parents for steering you in the wrong direction; the moment you are old enough to take the wheel, responsibility lies with you. What is more, I cannot criticise my parents for hoping that I would never experience poverty. They had been poor themselves, and I have since been poor, and I quite agree with them that it is not an ennobling experience. Poverty entails fear, and stress, and sometimes depression; it means a thousand petty humiliations and hardships. Climbing out of poverty by your own efforts, that is indeed something on which to pride yourself, but poverty itself is romanticised only by fools.

What I feared most for myself at your age was not poverty, but failure.

At your age, in spite of a distinct lack of motivation at university, where I had spent far too long in the coffee bar writing stories, and far too little time at lectures, I had a knack for passing examinations, and that, for years, had been the measure of success in my life and that of my peers.

I am not dull enough to suppose that because you are young, gifted and well-educated, you have never known hardship or heartbreak. Talent and intelligence never yet inoculated anyone against the caprice of the Fates, and I do not for a moment suppose that everyone here has enjoyed an existence of unruffled privilege and contentment.

However, the fact that you are graduating from Harvard suggests that you are not very well-acquainted with failure. You might be driven by a fear of failure quite as much as a desire for success. Indeed, your conception of failure might not be too far from the average person’s idea of success, so high have you already flown academically.

Ultimately, we all have to decide for ourselves what constitutes failure, but the world is quite eager to give you a set of criteria if you let it. So I think it fair to say that by any conventional measure, a mere seven years after my graduation day, I had failed on an epic scale. An exceptionally short-lived marriage had imploded, and I was jobless, a lone parent, and as poor as it is possible to be in modern Britain, without being homeless. The fears my parents had had for me, and that I had had for myself, had both come to pass, and by every usual standard, I was the biggest failure I knew.

Now, I am not going to stand here and tell you that failure is fun. That period of my life was a dark one, and I had no idea that there was going to be what the press has since represented as a kind of fairy tale resolution. I had no idea how far the tunnel extended, and for a long time, any light at the end of it was a hope rather than a reality.

So why do I talk about the benefits of failure? Simply because failure meant a stripping away of the inessential. I stopped pretending to myself that I was anything other than what I was, and began to direct all my energy into finishing the only work that mattered to me. Had I really succeeded at anything else, I might never have found the determination to succeed in the one arena I believed I truly belonged. I was set free, because my greatest fear had already been realised, and I was still alive, and I still had a daughter whom I adored, and I had an old typewriter and a big idea. And so rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life.

You might never fail on the scale I did, but some failure in life is inevitable. It is impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all - in which case, you fail by default.

Failure gave me an inner security that I had never attained by passing examinations. Failure taught me things about myself that I could have learned no other way. I discovered that I had a strong will, and more discipline than I had suspected; I also found out that I had friends whose value was truly above rubies.

The knowledge that you have emerged wiser and stronger from setbacks means that you are, ever after, secure in your ability to survive. You will never truly know yourself, or the strength of your relationships, until both have been tested by adversity. Such knowledge is a true gift, for all that it is painfully won, and it has been worth more to me than any qualification I ever earned.

Given a time machine or a Time Turner, I would tell my 21-year-old self that personal happiness lies in knowing that life is not a check-list of acquisition or achievement. Your qualifications, your CV, are not your life, though you will meet many people of my age and older who confuse the two. Life is difficult, and complicated, and beyond anyone’s total control, and the humility to know that will enable you to survive its vicissitudes.

You might think that I chose my second theme, the importance of imagination, because of the part it played in rebuilding my life, but that is not wholly so. Though I will defend the value of bedtime stories to my last gasp, I have learned to value imagination in a much broader sense. Imagination is not only the uniquely human capacity to envision that which is not, and therefore the fount of all invention and innovation. In its arguably most transformative and revelatory capacity, it is the power that enables us to empathise with humans whose experiences we have never shared.

One of the greatest formative experiences of my life preceded Harry Potter, though it informed much of what I subsequently wrote in those books. This revelation came in the form of one of my earliest day jobs. Though I was sloping off to write stories during my lunch hours, I paid the rent in my early 20s by working in the research department at Amnesty International’s headquarters in London.

There in my little office I read hastily scribbled letters smuggled out of totalitarian regimes by men and women who were risking imprisonment to inform the outside world of what was happening to them. I saw photographs of those who had disappeared without trace, sent to Amnesty by their desperate families and friends. I read the testimony of torture victims and saw pictures of their injuries. I opened handwritten, eye-witness accounts of summary trials and executions, of kidnappings and rapes.

Many of my co-workers were ex-political prisoners, people who had been displaced from their homes, or fled into exile, because they had the temerity to think independently of their government. Visitors to our office included those who had come to give information, or to try and find out what had happened to those they had been forced to leave behind.

I shall never forget the African torture victim, a young man no older than I was at the time, who had become mentally ill after all he had endured in his homeland. He trembled uncontrollably as he spoke into a video camera about the brutality inflicted upon him. He was a foot taller than I was, and seemed as fragile as a child. I was given the job of escorting him to the Underground Station afterwards, and this man whose life had been shattered by cruelty took my hand with exquisite courtesy, and wished me future happiness.

And as long as I live I shall remember walking along an empty corridor and suddenly hearing, from behind a closed door, a scream of pain and horror such as I have never heard since. The door opened, and the researcher poked out her head and told me to run and make a hot drink for the young man sitting with her. She had just given him the news that in retaliation for his own outspokenness against his country’s regime, his mother had been seized and executed.

Every day of my working week in my early 20s I was reminded how incredibly fortunate I was, to live in a country with a democratically elected government, where legal representation and a public trial were the rights of everyone.

Every day, I saw more evidence about the evils humankind will inflict on their fellow humans, to gain or maintain power. I began to have nightmares, literal nightmares, about some of the things I saw, heard and read.

And yet I also learned more about human goodness at Amnesty International than I had ever known before.

Amnesty mobilises thousands of people who have never been tortured or imprisoned for their beliefs to act on behalf of those who have. The power of human empathy, leading to collective action, saves lives, and frees prisoners. Ordinary people, whose personal well-being and security are assured, join together in huge numbers to save people they do not know, and will never meet. My small participation in that process was one of the most humbling and inspiring experiences of my life.

Unlike any other creature on this planet, humans can learn and understand, without having experienced. They can think themselves into other people’s minds, imagine themselves into other people’s places.

Of course, this is a power, like my brand of fictional magic, that is morally neutral. One might use such an ability to manipulate, or control, just as much as to understand or sympathise.

And many prefer not to exercise their imaginations at all. They choose to remain comfortably within the bounds of their own experience, never troubling to wonder how it would feel to have been born other than they are. They can refuse to hear screams or to peer inside cages; they can close their minds and hearts to any suffering that does not touch them personally; they can refuse to know.

I might be tempted to envy people who can live that way, except that I do not think they have any fewer nightmares than I do. Choosing to live in narrow spaces can lead to a form of mental agoraphobia, and that brings its own terrors. I think the wilfully unimaginative see more monsters. They are often more afraid.

What is more, those who choose not to empathise may enable real monsters. For without ever committing an act of outright evil ourselves, we collude with it, through our own apathy.

One of the many things I learned at the end of that Classics corridor down which I ventured at the age of 18, in search of something I could not then define, was this, written by the Greek author Plutarch: What we achieve inwardly will change outer reality.

That is an astonishing statement and yet proven a thousand times every day of our lives. It expresses, in part, our inescapable connection with the outside world, the fact that we touch other people’s lives simply by existing.

But how much more are you, Harvard graduates of 2008, likely to touch other people’s lives? Your intelligence, your capacity for hard work, the education you have earned and received, give you unique status, and unique responsibilities. Even your nationality sets you apart. The great majority of you belong to the world’s only remaining superpower. The way you vote, the way you live, the way you protest, the pressure you bring to bear on your government, has an impact way beyond your borders. That is your privilege, and your burden.

If you choose to use your status and influence to raise your voice on behalf of those who have no voice; if you choose to identify not only with the powerful, but with the powerless; if you retain the ability to imagine yourself into the lives of those who do not have your advantages, then it will not only be your proud families who celebrate your existence, but thousands and millions of people whose reality you have helped transform for the better. We do not need magic to change the world, we carry all the power we need inside ourselves already: we have the power to imagine better.

I am nearly finished. I have one last hope for you, which is something that I already had at 21. The friends with whom I sat on graduation day have been my friends for life. They are my children’s godparents, the people to whom I’ve been able to turn in times of trouble, friends who have been kind enough not to sue me when I’ve used their names for Death Eaters. At our graduation we were bound by enormous affection, by our shared experience of a time that could never come again, and, of course, by the knowledge that we held certain photographic evidence that would be exceptionally valuable if any of us ran for Prime Minister.

So today, I can wish you nothing better than similar friendships. And tomorrow, I hope that even if you remember not a single word of mine, you remember those of Seneca, another of those old Romans I met when I fled down the Classics corridor, in retreat from career ladders, in search of ancient wisdom:
As is a tale, so is life: not how long it is, but how good it is, is what matters.
I wish you all very good lives.
Thank you very much.


Friday, June 6

wind meals

'cause all of the wind meals,
all the expensive cars,
all of the money don't amount you...
-Mikey Tan sings Incomplete

it's ok mikey... we all had our own boohoos too.
don't forget miyo's gatsby hair or
how pola and i were rubbing, instead of the rubbing vase's handles, the placemat of said rubbing vase. and of course, pola's singing while her head's inside some rock.

it's been hot lately.
and it didn't help that i was going around school on long sleeves today.
yesterday was hot too.

but company was great.
and since bj's back, steph's less stressed. hehe.

off to an interview, fingers crossed.

Statement of the Moment #12


Barack Obama's triumph over Hillary Clinton in the Democratic
primaries makes this an historic week. We argue that the victories of
Mr Obama and John McCain show "America at its best". Neither is a
perfect candidate--and the voters now deserve a proper debate about
policies after a primary contest that was too dominated by arguments
about personality. But, on the face of it, this is the most impressive
choice America has had for a very long time.
-The Economist

Wednesday, June 4

great and grateful

the how-are-yous are back and i'm not complaining.

was in the school of management today and it was nice to see everyone again. my former teachers, people in the staff. there was the occasional hay naku karl but it felt good. even the school aids and the library people were more courteous.

former teacher: so you're back with us?
me: YES!

sweet. i hope i don't screw up again.
there are still appointments with Sir Rudy and Father Dacanay coming up (fingers crossed) but i have a strange feeling there's no stopping now. though i hope they would be nice. but i'll understand if they won't be.

starting the day listening to Obama's victory speech makes for a good day.
hope the day ends well too.
hope the year ends well too.

for a change.


and speaking of change, here's to those wishing for an Obama-Clinton ticket (a certain James Cartmire shared it in the Team RP e-group, i don't know you yet but thanks for sharing this)

PS after watching Sex again last night, what better way to bring home the title of the movie than having a cab driver talk about sex on the way home. it was super weird. super super weird. but at least it kept him awake. and so it kept the ride safe.

another thing to be grateful for, i guess. among so many others.
thank You.

Tuesday, June 3

TED on kinetic art



Arthur Ganson: Sculpture that's truly moving


"...just for the sheer joy of its own triviality."

"i think there's a point between simplicity and ambiguity which allows the viewer to take something from it."

"...the object means nothing at all. but once it is perceived, once somebody brings it to one's mind then there's cycle that has been completed... of coming from inside out to the physical, to someone perceiving it."

Sunday, June 1

Statement of the Moment #11


Crawford: Obama Has Replaced Clintons As Boss Of Party

-The Huffington Post headline

The Futility of Studying in School?

a wonderful start-of-the-sem essay by Mr. Leland Dela Cruz himself.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++


I remember being told a story once about a boy who was ordered by his master to push this huge boulder up a hill. Being obedient, the boy tried to push the boulder but it was too heavy so he barely moved it but the master told him to keep at it. This went on for days and the boy was beginning to feel frustrated but the master kept telling him to try.

After a while, the boy got fed up and finally confronted the master whom he had previously held in high regard and said, "Master, the boulder is too huge and I am too small. Why are you making me push the boulder up the hill when I think you know I cannot?"

And the Master said, "The point is not to push the boulder up the hill but to develop your strength". And true enough, looking at his own reflection, the boy noticed that his body had grown bigger and more capable of doing other things.

I was thinking earlier that the story could be adjusted to be about bringing big rocks (and progressively bigger rocks) up a hill and down again. But the point is that there are some activities which may appear useless now but prepare us for other activities later.

There is a question in the Ateneo College Student Survey which asks if students think if what they learn in school can be applied to the world outside and the interesting observation is the results decrease from batch to batch. The freshmen are more positive and the seniors are least so. Outside formal conversation, I think that students think that a lot of what they learn in the classroom, they cannot apply to their lives (except maybe for psychology and philosophy), present or future.

I think what students are in the position of the boy in the story, engaged in "futile" activities which may not have ends in themselves but which must be considered "exercises". Exercises in thinking, reflecting, solving problems, seeing things from different perspectives, listening. All those have obvious applications after graduation. It is not the content you will remember, but without knowing it, you have been trained, you are being prepared.

I was approached by the Dean of the Law School during a break at our weekend seminar and he said his daughter, who is in third year law, and who was our student in Development Studies, really appreciates the training she received in DS. This is not the first time I have heard that about DS students who go to Law School. The tons of readings inflicted on them and which they were held accountable for and the demands we made in terms of thesis and other projects made Law School readings, although kilometric, manageable.

Our seniors were asking our alumni if thesis helped them get a job and the alumni said no (although I know of a handful of alumni who got their jobs because of thesis) but all the alumni said what they appreciated about thesis was the training.

Studying is also about exercises in trying to find out what teachers want (which I think a skill every good student knows how to do) without their explicitly saying so (most teachers, myself included, cannot articulate "what they're looking for"). When you get to the "outside" world, very few people will be able to tell you what they want explictly and even if they are explicit, a lot of things will be left unsaid (and you end up saying to yourself, "but you said..."). In that sense, studying is good training in reading people and what people are looking for. A really good student can anticipate the test questions of a teacher based on the tone of a lecture.

Of course, it would be so much nicer if studying also involved not just training but also retaining content. That is the challenge for teachers, to teach content that speaks of life and not imaginary worlds. To speak of content that have a reasonable chance of being used after college. To remember that we are not training most students to be professors steeped in theory but practitioners.

It would also be so much nicer if the boulders being pushed up the hill or rocks being carried up (ex. projects, theses, papers) were actually being used for something by someone. Again, that is a challenge for teachers to create opportunities for this "useful" product to be possible. And we have been experimenting in some departments along these lines, what we call service-learning.

Those are "nice to haves" and teachers must move in the direction of making these "must haves". But even without these, there is some consolation that students can draw from pushing up immovable boulders or engaging in "futile" activities. Hopefully, all of these activities will make them more capable of facing various challenges after graduation.