and love saves the day

it is hardly about what you want
but almost always
for how much, how bad, how crazy
you want it

and like the rains
that quench the plains' thirst
it leaves stains

on shoes that dare move.

puked.

yes, like crazy.
with a capital P.

and it was the easy puke.
the last time i got all alcoholy puky, i couldn't puke.
and to think i was safe home then.

last night i wasn't.
but if i think about it, i probably was.
sanggu is home

and probably one of a few groups of people i'd be comfortable divulging all that's inside me with. quite literally so last night

and i pray to God no one was below us 'cause pier one's floors are all planks and full of slits where karl's vomitose could very well leak.

hello again anj, dani, james, je, mark, cheska, pao, monch, gita, jonjack

goodbye to ging and have fun in beijing
goodbye to luis and have fun in paris
goodbye to charles and have fun in amsterdam (amsterdarles, WEH)

your company is worth all the shame of a public puke-fest.

lisnin to good local bands
sortof readin musical reviews
feelin kinda alcohol-free

on pregnancy

somebody in theology class declared yesterday that
men will never get pregnant.

and that all the pains it takes for birthing a child
may probably be the reason why
women tend to be more emotional.

the discussion was certainly better than usual
but it would have been different
if by then i've already known that

a highschool friend of mine is pregnant.
what good news.

she just found out
and the baby's 2 months old
and they are 3 months into their marriage
and she sounds really happy.

we miss her.
i miss her.
i miss highschool.

when the idea of having a baby
was just that.
an idea.

an idea totally different from
making a baby.

got the news last night over pizza and jeering at highschool teachers of late. all right after yza's treat of a movie that starred john travolta on drag. he was not so bad as a she.
old old friends and old old ideas to laugh at
weren't so bad too.


so happy for you, jam.
you'd be the best mom for your baby.

lisnin to Rehab
sortof readin brand stuff
feelin kinda devious.

stupid man walking

it's not the first time i felt like a rag that just about anyone doesn't need anymore.
nor was it the first time i found myself walking for no good reason.

until ofcourse you realize,
somewhere between cubao and katipunan,
that it ain't so bad.

you get to meet mang pedro,
who thought it was a heart attack
but apparently it wasn't

or mang jun,
whose stare demands one to reply
that no, i don't know how to
um, help you with your bike.

and aling lydia,
who was wondering if was carrying gold or bronze
that i can sell her.

i didn't have any.
but i managed to cap the trek
with a yummy cheese streusel

lisnin to Stephen Lynch's Lullaby
sortof readin Proslogion
feelin kinda tired.

i can't stand under my umbrella

...because i lost it.
now when i need it.

all is good.
must get a new one.

rains are interesting.

youth of Donation

it's that time of the year once again when the leaves are all in
um
bloom and the weather's kinda weird but it's all good
'cause the leaves are all in
um
bloom, anyway.

it's getting less and less easy to appreciate leaves these days.
i mean,
a lot of people i know nowadays only applaud the BIG, the complex, the audacious.

not at all bad.
standards are higher, which is good.
but come on,
lighten up sometimes


the leaves are in bloom

lisnin to that Cinderella ella song
sortof readin Proslogion
feelin kinda loved.

Design, where art thou?

dang.
it's been quite a while since i've been downloading brushes or making my own or tweaking this or that photo. i miss my creative suite, my loser of a mouse, my stylus of a pen, my actionscript-less flash movies.

i can have time for them.
that's not the hard part.
the hard part's making sure others get as much time.
which is like saying it's still the hard part.
but it's not

'cause i'd rather not think that way.
lest i realize i actually have no time for any of them.

when in fact i do.
like seriously. with raised eyebrows.

lately i've been, um
sleeping.

good sleep. really really good.
what's better is i actually miss designing
and miss other stuff

i still am capable of missing these things.
and that's why missing ain't so bad

lisnin to some Craig David song
sortof readin still book 7 of You-Know-What
feelin kinda cheerful for the weather

the fine people you meet in heaven

there was a time when fleeting encounters would puzzle me to bits.
and it's sometimes not so much about who you encountered but as to how that encounter took place. the why, of course, is too tedious a question to discuss and far too debatable.

but just like what that chauvinist akon would melodiously say:
it don't matter no

anymore.
it's a more forward-looking me without necessarily forgetting tradition.
just not thinking of it too much.

tonight it is a calasanz question i encounter.
i pray the spirits of bellarmine hall don't disturb anyone of us takers.

lisnin to Time, a song from avenue q removed from the broadway run
sortof readin philosophy of religion
feelin kinda tweedleedeedleedeedeeniminidee

things change

things change

two words that may be either the easiest to accept or the hardest to take in


depending on the number of glasses of alcohol you're willing to take in after.