of not Knowing

i don't know.

i feel heavy and thin and sick and healthy and full and hungry
stupid unsure weird nice irritated comfortable
optimistic afraid unloved very-well-thought-of inspired
loved strange

i miss cebu
i love metro manila

"mildly agitated" "utterly upset"

all at the fuggin same time. don't know. don't wanna know. i tried
i'll be fine

i need her
i need hanging rice
i need chocolates
i need to sing, k1

now!
no

won't work.
i know.
i don't know.

i know i don't know