An Open Letter to Sorry

Dear Sorry,

I have abused you. I seek not for forgiveness but for an opportunity to be heard, something I never totally allowed myself to do.

You see, I use you. And though at times you alone, with no one else, are most appropriate, I cannot help but wonder 'cause I decided with reasons I conjured. Unsure is the term. A term that always defines the situations wherein I used you. Reassurance, perhaps, is what these situations need. But reassurance I too can conjure.

In a kalibutan [Bisaya for consciousness and universe and thus from Manny Dy: walay kalibutan kung walay kalibutan] where stuff I conjure exist as believably, so convincingly as stuff others conjure, you seem to help.

You see, I use you not only because you may define me but also because you have grown to mean so many without even trying to. You make mistakes, goodbyes, failures easier to bare. That they're less burdensome may run counter to the whole point of committing mistakes, goodbyes, failures, which is to slap you in the face so it leaves a handprint, but I could only carry so much. Using you more than necessary is my stupid way of easing the burden.

But this letter is proof that it has not eased any. Yet I remain happy for you remain open to being used. You deserve Thanks. Thanks too I've used often, abused even. You two share common experiences with me and I am happy.

I know you're Sorry but I'm sorry too.

Sincerely,

Thanks.