do i have to memorize that?

kailangan pa bang i-memorize yan?

is the oft-played line of a radio station that drivers of cabs in metro manila often listen to.

the cab driver on my way back from rehearsals was one of them. and from edsa all the way to the condo, we were behind this bmw who took considerable time overcoming road humps.

it's a freaking old model, irked the cab driver. and every time he'd say that, in tagalog, i see a very good example of that kind of selfishness we all ought to be more conscious of.

to the cab driver trying to send me to my place as soon as he can, this bmw driver was wasting his time. to the bmw driver trying to protect his bmw's low rear, it was all worth the time. to the cab rider trying to reach home before midnight, me, it was a good illustration of how selfish we are, more than we'll ever admit.

and to me, it is a problem because as we promote policies or condemn other people or ask people to donate or think of a goal or ask people to go beyond oneself, we tend to forget this not-always-bad, can-be-good-too-you-know notion of selfishness.

i ask ourselves to consciously think of this notion and memorize it.
memorizing, after all, is not just mechanical routine or rote. i think real memorizing entails functional understanding of anything we ought to memorize.

and, as my subtext experience proves it, this notion of can-be-good-too-you-know memorizing allows one to freely explore more than what's necessary because real memorizing assures you of constantly keeping in mind the bare essentials.

and yes, i have to memorize that.

lisnin to local news with creepy i-want-to-scream-at-you-even-if-your-face-is-this-close-to-me reporters.
sortof readin imagination in history.
feelin kinda stupid and helpless. hehe. but no, seriously. and i better keep it to myself for now. shallow and trivial stuff really. stuff you wouldn't want memorized