the Heart that is Heavy

it sometimes pays to just say it's all so huge and complicated and burdensome rather than evade the question every now and then.

you still won't have an answer or it may not even lighten up whatever you're carrying but it suddenly feels so reassuring. you suddenly are pulled back to the reality that for some strange reason you are feeling this and carrying that and going through it all. for some strange reason.

that you don't know the reason makes it even stranger and that it is so strange eases the sadness of the fact that you don't know the reason. they say the heart operates with no reason.

i certainly don't think so.
the heart operates with reason.
we just don't know it yet.
sometimes, we don't even get to ever know.

lisnin to The Bitch of Living. how appropriate.
sortof readin The Sociological Imagination
feelin kinda restless.

whew. it felt good letting go of that. thank you.
and i think i shared this already but that part when they all go
bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla
is really really a relief.